I’ve been dealing with rage lately. It’s not the recent controversy over racism
and police brutality I’m talking about, though I suppose my experience could
apply to any rage-inducing situation including that one. No, I’m referring to my work.
As a civil litigator (in layman terms, a lawyer who works on
lawsuits), I deal with disputes daily.
Most times, the lawyers on the opposite side are cordial enough. We might have to navigate through the contentious
positions of our respective clients, but we manage to keep it civil.
Every so often, I come across someone whose litigation style
I can’t describe any other way than “nasty.”
These are the kinds of lawyers who bully their way through a case. They take unreasonably aggressive positions
that drive up tempers and costs. Baseless
accusations are their weapon of choice. They
mischaracterize innocent actions as grave miscarriages of justice while
refusing to own up to their mistakes.
Lately, I’ve been dealing with members of the species Lawyerus
Toxica. My natural inclination is to
give in to my base instincts – call out their bad behavior, retaliate with barbs
of my own, send emails brimming with snark.
And then there are my inner thoughts.
I tend to see the opposing side as my enemy. I’d like to belittle and bad-mouth them to
anyone who cares to listen. I might
never actually do these things, but I want to.
That isn’t the place I should or want to be. Even if I see these lawyers as my enemies,
Jesus says enemies are to be loved.
(Matt. 5:44) So each day I examine
the motivations behind how I respond to my adversaries, checking for alignment
with the Holy Spirit. I collect my bitterness
and anger and drain it at the foot of the Cross. It’s a worthy exercise, but frankly, it’s tiresome. I wouldn’t do it but for the fear of the
Lord.
The phrase “fear of the Lord” gets a bad rap. It conjures thoughts of a watchful judge in
the sky, a cosmic Big Brother of sorts, waiting to strike us down for the
slightest infraction. That’s not the fear
of the Lord. You know why I purge daily?
Because loving my enemies doesn’t mean I stop fighting them – my clients hired
me to fight on their behalf – but to fight with a pure heart. Why? “Blessed
are the pure in heart for they see God.”
(Matt. 5:8) Never do I want to
lose sight of Jesus. I don’t want my
thirst for vengeance to cloud my vision of the One whose presence I crave. Apart from Christ, I wither. Fear of letting sin separate me from my
Beloved is what drives me to purge.
That’s why I choose to cling to Jesus rather than the
poisonous rage that seeks self-vindication.
I go to him, and his lovingkindness and tenderness overwhelm me. Any offense I hold on to melts away. I turn over the false accusations, frustrations,
and fury to him, and he gives me dignity, peace, and freedom. A beautiful exchange. It’s the embrace of Jesus that lets me let go
of the hurt from others’ sins. Cleansed of
all vitriol, I see the world through his eyes, a Kingdom reigned by paradoxical
peace. A world where no one is too far
from the love of God – even an enemy.
Prayer:
Lord, you know there are lots of people who hurt us (or who want to). Please help me to forgive and love them as you would. Embrace me and set me free. Thank you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.An Idea:
The next time you feel like lashing out at
someone who’s hurt you, stop for a moment and imagine what he or she was like
as an infant and also how he or she might be at the last moments of life. The Lord sees a person through the lens of
eternity. Consider how the Lord’s vision
of that person might affect your perspective.
Blessed whose heart is pure
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