Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go
into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet
you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a
mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought
to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” - James 4:13-15
The week that the lockdown on Oahu started, my wife and
I noticed that the threshold in our hallway was coming loose. At first, we thought the glue beneath the
threshold was getting worn, but when we discovered moisture coming up between
the floorboards the next day, we knew a more serious problem was afoot. A quick inspection led us to the culprit: a leaky
water heater. Thankfully, a plumber was
able to replace the water heater the same day.
Now we’re working with our insurance company on repairs and remediation.
On a morning run a few days later (social distancing of
course), I asked God what was going on.
I mean, our daily routines were already upended because of the lockdown,
and now this? I also noticed that most
of our home repair issues revolved around water/plumbing issues. Just the week before, our kitchen faucet
failed, and in the process of installing a new one, I discovered a leaky valve. Are you telling me something, God? As I pondered these questions, a word came to
mind: “FLUID.” (Water = fluid, get it? God is punny.)
Here's what I think the Lord was telling me. I’m one to crave closure. I like controlled environments and knowing know
how things fit into place. When situations
are in flux, I can get impatient and irritable.
Like I said in my last
blog post, I’m a sucker for order. Maintaining
order isn’t necessarily bad, but God loves me too much to let my love for
closure imprison the person he’s developing me to become.
My wife and I accept that we’re in process. (Aren’t we always?) The words God has spoken over us directly and
through others will come to pass only through change. In the last few years, we’ve made lots of adjustments
big and small, and we know there are more.
Yet, my desire for closure lurks in the background.
I think the word “FLUID” is a reminder to embrace
change. To be ok with not knowing how things
will end up. I can begrudge the mystery
of God, or I can remain joyful and thankful in the process of waiting on Him to
create a new order. I can choose to resist
letting uncertainty rattle me by adoring the ever-dynamic God whose goodness
never changes.
One of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, wrote this in his
book, Blue Like Jazz:
I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn’t resolve. But that was before any of this happened.
Prayer:
Lord, we stand firm in your love in these uncertain times. We acknowledge that you’re always good even when we don’t understand how things resolve. Help us to tackle change with the assurance that you’re creating something beautiful. In Jesus’ name, Amen.An Idea:
Keep a journal of changes you’re making in this season. Note changes big and small. Also record your reactions to each change. Try to think of positive and negative
consequences of the change. Then go back
and re-read your entries a month later.
You might just find that your attitude toward change (and faith) has
grown!
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