Introverts in Lockdown (Keith Hamasaki - May 8, 2020)

Credit: Randall Munroe (https://xkcd.com/2276/)

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Keith Hamasaki and my wife Leslie and I are known around Bluewater primarily for one thing: we are extreme introverts. When I say extreme, I mean extreme. If you look at our Myers Briggs E/I lines they look something like this (forgive my poor ASCII art):


 <------------------------------------------>        X   X
 Extrovert                          Introvert        Me  Leslie

It’s still not entirely clear how we managed to start a conversation, let alone get married, but here we are! So what is it like, for someone who is not just your ordinary run-of-the-mill introvert but a true, dyed-in-the-wool introvert, when everyone is forced to stay home and nearly all face to face social interaction has ceased?

Before I answer that question, it might help to give you a little context. If I’m being honest, the Christian life can often be difficult for people like me. So much of the life of faith is centered around relationships. We meet on Sunday mornings for worship. We meet again with our ʻohana groups during the week. If we are trying to faithfully live out our calling we find a ministry to serve in, which often involves more meetings, and depending on the ministry, talking to people who may be complete strangers. We are encouraged to share our faith with our co-workers, pray for people (out loud!), prophesy over them, and lay our hands on them to heal them. This is asking a lot of a normal person, but for someone who craves solitude it can all feel a bit overwhelming.

Given all of this, I’d be lying if I told you that our mode of living for the past month and a half hasn’t had its perks for me. I get to stay home all day, absent any social obligations, particularly those that might require me to engage in activities that are both uncomfortable and draining. I get to spend extra time with my family, while still having enough time for myself. I can still communicate with people, but in a way that is more comfortable for me, which often means written words rather than spoken ones.

But at the same time, I recognize that something is missing. I’ve spent some time here detailing how the life of faith can be difficult for me due to my personality, but I understand that it can be difficult for other people for many other reasons. Maybe they are natural skeptics and have a hard time believing in something they cannot see. Maybe they have been betrayed in the past by someone who claimed to follow Jesus. Maybe they worry what people will think of them, or that their family will disown them. There are any number of obstacles that we all face in living this life. If it were easy, Jesus wouldn’t have likened it to carrying a cross. But it is always, always, worth it, because the rewards that come from a life of faith are far greater than any obstacles that we have to overcome to live it.

For me, that has meant that living a life in community has always been worth the struggle it has taken. Leslie and I are often reluctant to attend yet another ʻohana group meeting, but we are almost always glad that we went. When I think of what my life would be like without our ʻohana group, I sense the hole that it would leave behind. Many of the most beautiful moments of my life have come when I have stepped out of my comfort zone to reach out to someone with an offer of prayer or even just friendship. After all, experiencing breakthrough in an area that is a struggle is far more rewarding than simply applying ourselves to something we are already proficient at.

The danger for me these past weeks has been that my tendency toward solitude would cut me off from the benefits of a life of community. During normal times I rely on the structure of Christian ritual to keep my relationships going, and absent that it is very easy for me to withdraw inward and ignore the rest of the world. But I know that in doing so I would be missing out on a great deal of richness and blessing, so I try, poorly at times, but as best as I can, to stay connected.

 

Prayer:

Jesus, I am so thankful for the community that you have blessed me with. Give me the strength to fight against the desire for comfort at the expense of relationship. Give me a heart that longs to connect with the beautiful and wonderful people that you have put in my life.

An Idea:

If you are not a member of an ʻohana group, join one! Groups are still meeting virtually during the lockdown. Perhaps you have found them to be unrewarding in the past. Keep an open mind, and keep trying. The rewards are worth the effort.